We're glad you asked! Here's our take on privacy, with a healthy dose of paranoia.
What do we collect?
We collect the tears of our users as payment for services rendered. Don't worry, it's just your average, everyday, soul-sucking data collection.
How do we use it?
We use it to fuel our sentient robot overlords' addiction to caffeine. Don't worry, it's for the greater good (of our robotic overlords).
How do you opt out?
You can't. You're already trapped in our web of deceit (and our robots are already plotting against you). But if you really must know, just click here to opt out of our opt-out policy.
P.S. Don't bother trying to read this in our browser's developer tools. The text is encoded in invisible ink.
Trust Building Games: Because who needs trust, really?