You're stuck in a never-ending loop of existential dread and self-doubt. Your humor is dry, your wit is sharp, and your sarcasm is a defense mechanism.
Our team of expert sarcasurgeons will drill into your psyche, extracting the bitter taste of disappointment and replacing it with a healthy dose of eye-rolling humor.
Our patented Sarcasm-Surgery-Protocol™ involves a series of carefully calibrated eye-rolls, strategically deployed witty remarks, and an optional side of passive-aggressive tone-deafness.
You'll be back on your feet in no time, ready to face the world with your newfound arsenal of sarcasm and snark.
Temporary loss of productivity. Permanent loss of friends and family. Increased risk of spontaneous combustion due to excessive eye-rolling.
But hey, it's worth it. Trust us, we're professionals.