Exceptional Occurrences on a Tuesday, Because Why Not?

Today, on the most mundane of days, the universe decided to throw us a curveball. A Tuesday, of all days, has become the epicenter of Exceptionality. The skies are a deep shade of indeterminate grey, and the air is thick with the promise of the unknown.

It started with a toaster that started playing the Macarena. Yes, you read that right. A toaster. In the kitchen. At 6:00 AM. The neighbors are still trying to figure out who's responsible for the 3am rendition of "I Like to Move It, Move It," but we're just here for the ride.

As we speak, reports are flooding in of:

• Celestial Abnormalities: The moon is inexplicably glowing with a neon pink hue. No one is quite sure what this portends, but we're keeping an ear to the universe.
• Quantum Fluctuatuons: Our physics professor has gone missing. Last seen heading to the local particle accelerator for "research." Research.
• Interdimensional Friction: The laws of physics are starting to get a little too close for comfort. Doors are sticking, and we're not just talking about the one in the fridge that always gets stuck.

We'll keep you updated as this day of exceptional occurrences unfolds. Or, at the very least, we'll try to keep up with the toaster.