Today is the day where anything can happen, but probably won't.
Our experts have analyzed the data, and the probability of something exciting occurring is 0.000001%.
But don't worry! The day is young! Maybe, just maybe, a coworker will spill coffee on their shirt.
Or, if you're really lucky, someone will use the phrase "synergy" incorrectly in a meeting.
Stay tuned for live updates on the thrilling adventures of Tuesday, The 18th!