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ALIENS ARRIVED: A Tuesday Mandate
Executive Order 3456: Alien Invasion Response Protocol
By the power vested in us, we hereby declare that the alien invasion will not be televised. Repeat, not televised. Repeat, not televised. Repeat, not televised.
Section 1: Alien-Human Coexistence
- Article 1: Aliens will be allowed to take over the world, but only on Tuesdays.
- Article 2: Humans will be required to wear funny costumes on Tuesdays to facilitate intergalactic understanding.
- Article 3: All Tuesdays will be cancelled.
Section 2: Alien-Human Communication
- Article 4: Aliens will be allowed to communicate with humans using only the most basic form of mathematics.
- Article 5: Humans will be forced to learn basic alien math, but only if they want to.
Section 3: Alien-Human Integration
- Article 6: Aliens will be integrated into all aspects of society, except for Tuesdays.
- Article 7: Humans will be required to attend Alien Cultural Sensitivity Training on Fridays.
Tuesday Exceptions for Aliens
Tuesday Exceptions for Humans
Effective immediately, all Tuesdays are hereby cancelled. Carry on.
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