Twenty Billion Dollar Lobbyists' Daily Schedule

Here's what the most influential, yet least productive, people in the country have planned for the day:

• 8:00 AM - Breakfast at the Breakfast Club
• 9:00 AM - "Meet the Press" with Representatives from the Press (aka "The People Who Write the Articles About Us"
• 10:00 AM - Lobbyist Sports - a game of "Who Can Write the Longest, Most Convincing Letter to a Lawmaker"
• 12:00 PM - Lunch at the Lunch Club - because, priorities
• 1:00 PM - "Networking Hour" with the Most Influential Influencers
• 5:00 PM - Cocktail Hour - because "lobbyist" is just a synonym for "happy hour"