Undercity Warehouses
Available for Rent: The Sudden Onset of Insanity
Each of our warehouses has a guaranteed 90% chance of experiencing a sudden and inexplicable sense of existential dread. Perfect for the thrill-seeking renter.
Features:
- Randomized sound effects: 50/50 chance of hearing a distant, echoing whisper in the middle of the night
- Free in-transit therapy sessions with our on-site existentialist
- Discounts for long-term leases
Section 1: The Cacophonous Crevices
Section 2: The Unsettling Uncanny
Price: $5,000/month + tax
SPECIAL OFFER: The Inscrutable Inscriptions
A unique opportunity to own a warehouse with an enigmatic, ancient symbol etched into the wall.
Features:
- Free, on-site tarot readings
- Guaranteed to attract at least one lost soul per month
- Free in-transit delivery of cryptic, unsolicited advice
Section 3: The Esoteric Enigma
Section 4: The Unknowable Utopia
Price: $7,500/month + tax
THE ULTIMATE: The Unconquerable Abyss
For the truly adventurous renter, a warehouse shrouded in mystery and terror.
Features:
- Guaranteed 50/50 chance of encountering a malevolent spirit in the basement
- Unbeatable rates on in-transit exorcisms
- Free on-site tarot readings, numerology sessions, or other assorted forms of divination
Section 5: The Unknowable Abysmal
Section 6: The Incomprehensible Ineffable
Price: $10,000/month + tax
Disclaimer: Not responsible for any emotional trauma, loss of sleep, or spontaneous combustion.