Undercooked Pasta Emergency Services
**Warning:** You have stumbled into the most underwhelming emergency response system in the galaxy.
We have been notified of your undercooked pasta emergency and are currently dispatching a team of highly trained, highly underqualified agents to assist you.
**Symptoms:** Your pasta has been cooked for an unacceptable amount of time.
**Treatment:** Our team will arrive with a selection of artisanal olive oil and a fire extinguisher.
**Estimated Response Time:** 3-5 minutes, depending on the severity of your undercooking.