Salmonella Typhi: The Risotto Reckoning

Ingredients:

One part salmonella, one part rice, one part terror.

Instructions:

1. In a pan of chaos, combine one cup of salmonella, one cup of Arborio rice, and a dash of fear.

2. Stir until the rice is well-done, but not too well-done, or it's just a risotto.

For a taste of normalcy, try our undercooked-pasta recipe.

Side Effects:

May cause: food poisoning, stomach cramping, and existential dread.

More recipes like this. See our ingredients section for more information. I've included a link to our undercooked-pasta recipe, and a link to our normal-bacteria ingredients section, because who needs to be normal, anyway?