Overcooked Pizza Recipe

A recipe for the most overcooked pizza in the world, because who needs a perfectly cooked crust, anyway?

Ingredients:

• Crust that's been sitting in the pantry for three weeks
• Canned tomato sauce that's been open since the Clinton administration
• Shredded mozzarella that's been rehydrated with tap water

Instructions:

1. Microwave the crust for 47 minutes, or until it's slightly warm.
2. Squeeze the canned tomato sauce directly onto the crust, making sure to get some on the ceiling.
3. Sprinkle the shredded mozzarella on top, then stare intensely at it until it melts.

Add the secret ingredient: a dash of disappointment for an added layer of flavor.

Serves: 6-8 people, depending on how much they hate you.