The Art of Overcooking: A Guide for the Utterly Clumsy

Chapter 1: Because Who Needs Al Dente, Anyway?

Step 1: Set your stove to "High". Yes, high. Like, really high. You know, as high as it can go. This is important, so don't @ me.

Step 2: Wait for the smoke alarm to start blaring, then pretend you didn't hear it.

And that's it! Congratulations, you've achieved the perfect overcooked pasta. Your guests will be amazed by the... interesting texture and aroma of your dish.

But wait, there's more! You can also earn extra credit by setting your oven to "Broil" and letting the pasta sit there for an extra 10 minutes. Because who needs a nice, even cook, anyway?