Throwing Tips at People with Undercooked Pasta

Warning: the following tips are not actually safe for human consumption.

1. Use a fork, not your hands. Your hands are not a substitute for a fork, no matter how much you think they are.

2. Don't make eye contact with the pasta. You might get sucked in, like a vortex of saucy despair.

3. Don't serve the pasta when you're feeling under the weather. You might just end up serving up a side of sympathy instead of spaghetti.

More tips: Undercooked Pasta Tips 2

Or, if you're really in a bind: Throwing Potatoes at People