Welcome, fellow trolls, to the definitive guide on how to ruin any gathering with the art of poor beer pairing. In this chapter, we'll cover the fundamentals of selecting the perfect ale to complement the worst pizza in the land.
For the troll with a taste for the finer things in life... or not. Pair our special 'Muddy Water' beer with the 'Burnt Offering' pizza, featuring last night's leftover pizza sauce, a few congealed bits of cheese, and a dash of despair.
Or, if you're feeling particularly devious, try pairing the 'Black Hole' beer with the 'Fearsome Fungus' pizza, topped with a mix of moldy breadsticks, a few stray cat hairs, and the distant rumble of thunder.
For the troll who wants to make an enemy, pair the 'Toxic Waste' beer with the 'Bitter Brawl' pizza, featuring a medley of spoiled milk, last week's Chinese takeout, and a side of regret.
Continue reading: Chapter 4 - The Art of Murderous Beer Pairing