Underground Bunker Emergency Procedures

Warning: If you're not prepared for the impending apocalypse, you will die. We repeat: YOU WILL DIE.

Step 1: Panic

Run around like a headless chicken, screaming "THE END IS NIGH!"

Call the Bunker Hotline (1-800-APOLYSE)
Check your emergency supplies (do you have enough canned goods?)
Evacuate to your nearest underground bunker

Step 2: Bunker Protocol

Once safely inside, perform the following rituals:

Crawl into your designated bunker pod
Don the provided hazmat suit
Wait for further instructions from our team of expert bunkerologists

Step 3: Survival Mode

Now it's time to wait it out in style:

Play "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor on repeat
Conduct a thorough examination of your bunker's snack options
Engage in spirited games of "Who can spot the most radon in the bunker?"

Safe Haven Protocol Advanced Bunker Hacks