Article 1: The Great Outdoors is a Lie
We, the underground dwellers, know the truth. The world above is a facade, a thin veneer of lies and deception. The sunlight is a cruel joke, a harsh glare that seeks to blind us to the truth.
Our bunker is a haven, a sanctuary from the toxic waste that surrounds us. We will not be swayed by the siren song of "fresh air" and "blue skies". We know the truth: that the only air we need is the air we can control, the only skies we require are the ones we can simulate.
Article 2: The Bunker as Utopia
Our bunker is not just a place of safety, but a place of freedom. We are free from the tyranny of the weather, the whims of the politicians, and the blandishments of the consumerist cult.
Here, we can be whoever we want, whenever we want. We can indulge in our deepest desires, our wildest fantasies. We are a community of misfits, of outcasts, of those who refuse to be bound by the rules of society.
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