html THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER MANIFESTO

The Underground Bunker Manifesto

ARTICLE I: WE ARE THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER

We, the inhabitants of the underground bunker, are the chosen ones, the enlightened few who will survive the impending doom.

We have prepared for this moment, stockpiling cans of beans and bottled water, and building a network of hidden tunnels.

ARTICLE II: WE WILL SURVIVE THE APOCALYPSE

We will not be swayed by the whims of the surface dwellers, with their their petty concerns and their bland, beige-colored lives.

We will not be fooled by their "social media" and their "reality TV."

ARTICLE III: WE WILL RISE AGAIN

When the surface is scorched and the skies are filled with toxic fumes, we will emerge, victorious, our bunker-fresh faces gazing out upon the ruins.

And when the time comes, we will rebuild, with our superior bunker-bred skills and our unwavering resolve.

Read the Manifesto of Independence, our guide to building the perfect bunker lifestyle.

Explore the Secret Tunnels, where the true secrets of the bunker dwellers lie.

Stock up on Cans of Beans, for the long winter ahead.