Cheat Sheet for Succeeding at Life (Without Actually Trying)

Underhand Advantages

Here are the secret strategies you never knew you needed:

Procrastination techniques:
- Do the thing you hate doing last.
- Break tasks into smaller, equally annoying tasks.
- Make a to-do list, then promptly forget it exists.
Getting what you want without effort:
- Claim it's "urgent" to get sympathy from others.
- Use the phrase "just one more minute" to stall indefinitely.
- Blame it on the cat.
Stealth navigation:
- Use the "sneak" button on your keyboard.
- Develop a talent for teleportation.
- Learn to walk through walls.