Emergency Mermaid Services

Underwater Maintenance

Please report all mermaid-related emergencies to our team of highly trained, highly fashionable, highly flustered aquatic responders.

Lost Mermaid Child

Our team has been equipped with the latest in underwater tracking technology, but we still can't guarantee a 100% chance of finding your little mermaid.

Merman Entanglement

Our team has been trained to handle even the most... delicate situations. Don't worry, we won't judge.

Mermaid Traffic Jam

We have a fleet of highly trained, highly impatient mermaid traffic cops on standby. Don't even think about swimming against the current.

Please do not attempt to self-service these emergencies. Our team is trained, licensed, and equipped with the most advanced underwater rescue gear. Don't try this at home.

(Note: I used a simple icon font, as I couldn't find any suitable mermaid icon. You can replace it with a real icon, if you like.)