The Ministry of Red Tape has deemed your request to be of utmost importance and has therefore been subject to an inordinate amount of scrutiny.
Due to the sheer volume of forms, permits, and certifications required, your request has been delayed by 427 days, 14 minutes, and 32 seconds.
You are now required to fill out form 27-B/6, subsection 4, paragraph 7, which will take approximately 17 hours and 14 minutes to complete.
Upon completion, please submit your request to the Department of Redundancy for review and approval.
Form 27-B/6, subsection 4, paragraph 7