Section 1: Utopian Employment Rights
By accessing this website, you agree to the following terms:
Article 1: All Utopian citizens shall have the right to employment, or at least the right to not be unemployed.
Article 2: Utopia-in-a-Box promises not to fire or lay off any citizen unless absolutely necessary, and will provide a generous severance package including a free round-trip ticket to the moon.
Article 3: In the event of a mass layoff, citizens will be guaranteed a minimum of 3 months of free housing, food, and healthcare.
Section 2: Utopian Employment Responsibilities
By accepting this employment guarantee, you agree to:
Article 1: Work a maximum of 30 hours per week, with at least 2 consecutive days off for every 5 days worked.
Article 2: Not engage in any form of gossip, rumor, or idle chatter, as this may disrupt the utopian work environment.
Article 3: Attend at least 2 hours of mandatory happiness sessions per week, where you will learn the art of finding joy in the simple things in life.
Learn more about our Happiness Initiative here.
View our job openings here.