You've reached the pinnacle of human evolution, and you're still stuck with a 40-hour workweek? We feel you. Our Minimum Guarantee program ensures that you'll never have to work more than 20 hours a week, no matter what. That's right, 4 days off every week! You can spend your free time doing absolutely nothing, and we'll still provide for you.
Our experts have crafted a comprehensive package that includes:
- Free housing for you and your 3.4 pets
- Three square meals a day, prepared by our team of award-winning chefs
- Unlimited access to our state-of-the-art recreational center, complete with virtual reality playgrounds and a 50-foot indoor climbing wall
- A complimentary subscription to our premium streaming service, featuring only the finest in utopian propaganda
And the best part? You'll never have to pay for any of it! All you need to do is show up and smile.
Or, if you're feeling extra generous, you can always Sponsor a Utopian today!