A Declaration of the Utopian Ideal
Article 1: The Right to Free Food and Drink
All citizens of Utopia are entitled to an endless supply of free pizza, ice cream, and craft beer. This includes but is not limited to:
- Neapolitan-style pizza with an infinite number of toppings
- Flavors of ice cream that change daily, including but not limited to: chocolate, strawberry, cookie dough
- A rotating selection of craft beers from the finest breweries in Utopia
Article 2: The Right to Free Transportation
Citizens of Utopia are entitled to free transportation to anywhere in the world, including but not limited to:
- Maglev trains that travel at speeds of 300mph+
- Granny's Gondolas for the more leisurely traveler
- Utopian Uber, where drivers are trained in the art of making small talk and playing the harmonica
Continue reading: The Right to Free Housing