The Utopian Manifesto

Chapter 1: The Imperfections of Perfection

In a world where everything is perfect, nothing is perfect.

We, the utopians, have created a society where:

Everyone has a 4.2-inch thick, fluffy beard and a perfectly symmetrical face.
There are no taxes, but everyone pays_goals.
Everyone has a 500-gallon water slide in their backyard, but nobody actually gets to use it.

And so, we proudly present...

Article 1: All citizens must wear plaid on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Article 2: The national pastime is extreme ironing.

Article 3: All food must be served with exactly 17 side dishes.