Utopian Bakery

Welcome to the Utopian Bakery, where the pastries are always fresh, and the revolution is always just around the corner.

Bakery Menu

We specialize in breads that are almost, but not quite, as good as our politics.

• Bread Wars: Our most popular flavor, featuring a side of existential dread
• Utopian Union Sticks: because who doesn't love a stick that's also a union card?
• Utopian Utopia Pudding: it's like the country itself, but edible!

Disclaimer: Utopian Bakery is not actually a real bakery, and our pastries are not actually good. But hey, it's a nice thought.

© 2023 Utopian Bakery