Preamble
In a world where the tyrannical forces of blandness have oppressed our taste buds for far too long, we, the Utopian Rebel Revolutionaries Salads (URRS), rise up!
We demand an end to the reign of boring greens, an end to the tyranny of soggy croutons, and an end to the injustice of too much mayonnaise!
We shall not be silenced by the dull, grey tones of the Establishment's salad dressings. We shall not be deterred by the crushing weight of the lettuce industry's influence.
Article 1: The 7 Principles of URRS
- 1. The right to be a fusion of flavors, without apology.
- 2. The freedom to top with whatever tickles our fancy, be it avocado, quinoa, or durian fruit.
- 3. The duty to challenge the status quo, one salad fork at a time.
- 4. The power to choose between vegan, gluten-free, and lactose-free, without being judged.
- 5. The responsibility to never, ever, under any circumstances, serve a salad with more than 3 types of cheese.
- 6. The right to assemble our own salad bars, free from the tyranny of corporate control.
- 7. The obligation to always, always, always use locally sourced, organic, and artisanal ingredients, or else we'll be judged by the URRS Salad Police.