I visited the Utopian Spa and was immediately struck by the overwhelming sense of... mediocrity. The decor was pleasant enough, with an impressive collection of beige everything. The staff was courteous, but not particularly knowledgeable about the local flora.
My treatment began with a relaxing 20-minute session of gentle, soothing music and the soft hum of a distant waterfall. The massage therapist seemed competent, if a bit bored. When I asked for extra pressure, she raised an eyebrow and continued to apply exactly 4.2 pounds per square inch, as prescribed.
The facilities were clean, but not particularly well-maintained. The sauna was a bit too hot, the steam room a bit too cold, and the meditation room had a faint scent of despair.
I give the Utopian Spa 3/5 stars. The only reason I didn't give it 2 stars is because the free Wi-Fi was decent.