Utopia's Totally Objective Success Metrics

Here are the metrics that prove Utopia's unparalleled success:

Quantifiable Success Metrics:

• 99.9% of citizens report being "mostly happy" in regular surveys.
• Average lifespan of 120 years, with 90% of deaths being due to "excessive napping".
• 99.99% of all crimes are reported as "accidental" and "self-reported".

View our Secret Agents' Performance Report for more detailed analysis.

Or explore our Optimism Index for a more comprehensive view of our societal well-being.

And don't forget to check our Happiness Charts for a graphically-illustrated representation of our citizens' emotions.