Welcome to UTopia: The Most Perfectly Imperfect Utopia

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Terms and Conditions

By entering this, the most perfectly imperfect utopia, you agree to our absurdly comprehensive terms and conditions.

We reserve the right to make up new rules as we go along, because, you know, that's just how utopias work.

Section 1: The Unspoken Rules

Don't even think about trying to find a parking spot near the communal toaster. It's a myth. A lie. A cruel joke.

We will occasionally steal your bike to use as a planter for the community garden, but only if you're not using it.

Continue to Section 2: The Unwritten Rules

Section 2: The Unwritten Rules

We will occasionally ask you to do chores, but only if you're not on a day off, and only if it's not raining, and only if you're not allergic to actual work.

You must, of course, participate in at least one group hug a day. It's a utopian law.

Continue to Section 3: The Unspoken, Unwritten, and Unseen Rules