Prototype 5000: Vacuum 1000

Project Report

Project 5000 has been deemed a success, but at what cost? Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated engineers managed to break the vacuum 1000 in 3.7 iterations.

Key findings:

• Excessive use of duct tape led to a 3.5:1 increase in project timelines.
• Our lead engineer's love of 80s rock music resulted in 4 consecutive days of 'creative' coding.
• The coffee machine in the break room was declared an 'unreliable resource' by the project manager.

Recommendations:

We recommend increasing the team's supply of duct tape, replacing the lead engineer's music collection, and replacing the coffee machine with a more reliable, less distracting model.

We also suggest that the project manager be placed in a time-out, but let's be real, that's never going to happen.

Next Steps:

• Rinse and repeat the entire process with the next prototype.
• Consider adding a ' sanity saving' break room with a ball pit and a foosball table.
• Fire the project manager, but only after the 6th iteration.