Audrey's Glowing Review

"I've had the misfortune of owning a few vacuums in my lifetime, but none as majestic as the Vacuum 1000. It's like a unicorn that sucks, but not as magical." - Audrey, Disgruntled Homemaker

Bert's 10-star review Bert's 10-star review (in a foreign accent) Jane Doe's glowing review, but not as glowing as the Vacuum 1000's glow feature

Disclaimer: Do not try to vacuum the cat. We're not responsible for your poor cat's well-being.

Side Effects: May cause excessive cleaning, spontaneous happiness, or temporary loss of dignity. Prolonged use may lead to permanent loss of dignity.