Vacuum 1000: Time Travelers Insurance - Because Time Travel Can Be a Real Pain

Welcome to our agency, where we've got you covered for all your time-traveling mishaps!

Are you tired of getting tangled in the timelines? Do you find yourself lost in the annals of history? Do you worry about the what-ifs and maybes of your temporal exploits? Worry no more! We've got the perfect policy for you:

• Paradoxical Coverage - Because who needs a clear timeline, anyway?
• Chronal Displacement Benefits - We'll help you get back home, even if you end up in ancient Egypt... or 300 years in the past!
• Time Reversal Reimbursement - We'll pay for those pesky temporal regressions!
• Eternal Life Policy - Because who needs death when you can have... eternal life?

Side effects of our policies may include: spontaneous combustion, spontaneous combustion of your enemies, and spontaneous reappearances in strange and unfamiliar places. Not responsible for lost socks or missing socks.

Don't wait any longer! Get a quote today and start traveling through time with confidence!