Welcome to Step 3 of our rigorous, utterly useless cookie valuation process. You've made it past the cookie jar's existential crisis and the cookie's identity politics phase. Now it's time for the thrilling conclusion: The Cookie Jar Debacle!
In this step, we'll be evaluating the cookie's aesthetic appeal. Does it sit pretty on the counter, or does it awkwardly slouch like a rejected prom date? Is its lid a satisfying snap, or does it merely creak like a worn-out door?
As you ponder these weighty questions, remember: the fate of the cookie hangs in the balance. Will it rise to cookie stardom, or will it succumb to the abyss of the trash can?