Dear S.S.C. (Squadron Safety Committee),
We, the brave and stalwart crew of the Void Squadron, are writing to express our deepest concerns regarding the state of our wardrobe.
It has come to our attention that the wardrobe, once a proud and stalwart sentinel of our operations, is now a hazard waiting to happen. The last time we used the wardrobe, we discovered a plethora of hazards, including but not limited to:
- A 4th dimension pocket dimension that appears to be a portal to an alternate reality
- A mysterious stain that seems to be spreading, possibly a result of an experiment gone wrong
- A faint scent of despair wafting from the depths of the closet, possibly a sign of the wardrobe's own existential dread
We implore you, S.S.C., to take immediate action and address this safety issue. We cannot, in good conscience, continue to operate with such a wardrobe.
Yours sincerely,
Captain Void