Today was a day of utter chaos. The coffee machine broke down, and the crew's morale hit an all-time low. But we soldiered on, fueled by sheer determination and a healthy dose of existential dread.
We deployed the new "Squadron-Savant" algorithm, which promised to increase our tactical superiority by 300% but instead caused the ship's engines to malfunction and spew forth a trail of glittering, rainbow-colored smoke.
As the crew scrambled to repair the damage, I received an email from our fearless leader, Admiral Bane, with a cryptic message that read: "The coffee machine is not the problem. It's the humans."
Read about today's thrilling adventures or see what we were up to yesterday.
Or, if you're feeling particularly masochistic, read about the time we replaced the coffee machine with a toaster.