Survival tip 1: Don't eat the fluorescent light in the break room. It's not edible.
Stock up on emergency rations.
Survival tip 2: Never, ever trust the coffee machine.
Learn to make a decent cup of coffee without the machine.
Survival tip 3: The stapler is not a projectile weapon.
Learn self-defense techniques.
Survival tip 4: In the event of a fire drill, stay close to the exits and do not attempt to use the fire alarm as a microphone.
Practice your evacuation procedures.
Survival tip 5: In the absence of a social life, find a hobby. Knitting is not a bad choice.