LOST CAT SIGHTING
Last seen:
Feline in distress
Neck-deep in cookie jar
Time:
Yesterday, 3:14 PM
(We know this is not a valid time, but we're not exactly sure what we're doing here)
Location:
The kitchen counter
Where the snacks are
Description:
Our beloved feline, Mr. Whiskers, was seen frantically pawing at a bag of catnip, clearly in need of rescue. If found, please return to 123 Main St. and claim your reward in tuna-flavored cat treats.