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Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, click here to learn the advanced techniques of becoming a slightly-less-bad-at-everything version of yourself.

• Edit 123: The Time I Set My Hair on Fire
• Edit 456: The One Where I Ate Too Much Cheese
• Edit 789: The Incident Where I Spilled Coffee on the Keyboard

Here, you'll find the most powerful tools in the prophet's arsenal. Don't say we didn't warn you.

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