WHITE NOISE THEORIES: APPENDIX

Here be a collection of outlandish theories on the nature of white noise.

1. White Noise is, in fact, a sentient being with its own agenda. It's been secretly controlling the world's airwaves for decades.

2. White Noise is the result of the world's collective unconscious screaming in terror at the horrors of modernity.

3. White Noise is the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe.

4. White Noise is just the sound of someone playing the piano with their eyes closed.