Our Methods
We use a combination of ancient arts, modern science, and sheer, unadulterated guesswork to deliver our prophecies.
- Staring deeply into the abyss of the unknown.
- Consulting with experts in the field of divination.
- Eating too much cheese.
As Us Prophets, we're here to guide you through the vast expanse of uncertainty. Our prophets are handpicked for their exceptional talent in wearing the finest mustaches, and their ability to predict the weather with uncanny accuracy.
Our prophets have foreseen the rise and fall of civilizations, the birth of new trends, and the optimal time to eat a sandwich. They've been there for the dawn of the age of reason, and are ready for the impending apocalypse.
So, what are you waiting for? Join us, and together we'll shape the destiny of the universe (or at least, our local coffee shop).
Meet Our ProphetsWe use a combination of ancient arts, modern science, and sheer, unadulterated guesswork to deliver our prophecies.