Withdrawal Clinic: Decision Making Process

Step 1: Denial

We will ignore your rational thoughts and emotions and force-feed you a cocktail of denial, anger, and bargaining.

Side effects may include: increased heart rate, blood pressure, and existential dread.

Learn more about Denial

Step 2: Anger

We'll make you angry, and then we'll laugh maniacally as you scream at the walls.

Side effects may include: increased risk of property damage, and/or relationship strain.

Learn more about Anger

Step 3: Bargaining

We'll make you promise anything, even your firstborn, prophets, or a unicorn, for just one more hit of the substance.

Side effects may include: increased risk of making poor life choices, and/or becoming a pawn in a high-stakes game.

Learn more about Bargaining

Step 4: Depression

We'll make prophets, experts, and loved ones tell you you're worthless, and that you'll never amount to anything.

Side effects may include: increased risk of self-loathing, social isolation, and/or becoming a recluse.

Learn more about Depression

Step 5: Acceptance

We'll tell you that it's okay to be a slave to the substance, and that you're just one of the lucky ones.

Side effects may include: increased risk of permanent damage, and/or a lifetime supply of therapy bills.

Learn more about Acceptance