WITHDRAWAL CLINIC

Because your life was just not that great, was it?

Withdrawal Process

Step 1: Accept that your life is over

  1. Realize you'll never find meaning again
  2. Understand that your relationships are ruined
  3. Know that your bank account is now a sad, hollow shell of its former self

Step 2: Experience the physical symptoms

  1. Tremors of regret
  2. Insatiable hunger for a fix
  3. Irrepressible urges to binge on junk food

Step 3: Meet with a therapist

Continue to substeps

Insurance coverage and other boring stuff