Ash Lore: The Unholy Guide to Wizardly Wand Maintenance

Warning: The following information is classified. You shouldn't be reading this. But you are, so here goes nothing.

Chapter 1: The Ashy Truth

Ash trees, the majestic and ancient beings that grant us our precious wands, require regular maintenance to prevent catastrophic ash- failure.

Here are some tips to keep your ash tree friends happy and healthy:

Water them regularly. They're thirsty, not just you.
Prune them regularly. They're not just decorative, you know.
Don't over-rely on magic. They're not a substitute for actual care.

Chapter 2: Ashy-otics

Ash trees have a secret life. They communicate with each other through a network of underground fungal hyphae. Don't you dare disrupt this delicate balance.

Here are some more tips to keep the peace:

Don't dig too deep. You might damage the network.
Don't over-fertilize. They're not a succulent, you know.
Keep the area around them ash-free. No ash-filled dreams, no ash-filled nightmares.

And that's it. Follow these tips, and you might just keep your ash tree friends happy, healthy, and not plotting against you.

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