The Wizardly Wednesday Legal Page

Welcome, mortals, to the most bewildering, bewildering, and bewilderingly complex legal page on the internet.

By clicking "I Agree" below, you agree to the following terms:

1. To surrender your soul to the Great and Powerful Wizardly Empire.
2. To never, ever, ever use the phrase "I told you so" in a court of law.
3. To wear a pointed hat and a cape at all times while browsing this site.

Important Legal Disclaimers:

By using this site, you agree that:

1. You are not a lawyer, and therefore, are not qualified to understand any of this.
2. The Wizardly Empire is not responsible for any damage caused by excessive use of magic.
3. You will be required to pay an additional 100 gold coins for every hour spent browsing this site.

Wizards of Legal Affairs

Mind Control: A Realm of Legalese Wizardry

Beware, mortals, for in this realm of mind control, the fine print is as thick as the wizardly incantations that bind you.

The following spells of binding agreement are in effect:

1. By clicking "I Agree", you grant the Wizardly Empire permission to cast a binding spell of mind control upon you, allowing us to dictate your every action, thought, and whim.
2. You agree to surrender your free will to the whims of our all-knowing, all-powerful wizardly overlord.
3. You acknowledge that our lawyers are not, in fact, lawyers, but rather highly trained and highly caffeinated wizardly clerks.

Wizardly Warnings:

Beware, mortals, for in this realm of mind control, the fine print is as thick as the wizardly incantations that bind you. Use at your own risk!

By using this site, you agree to all of the following:

1. To never, ever, ever use the word "no" in a sentence.
2. To surrender your first-born child to the service of the Wizardly Empire, should you be so unfortunate as to conceive.
3. To participate in our bi-weekly wizardly bingo nights, where prizes include but are not limited to: a year's supply of magic beans.

Wizards of Legal Affairs

Meet the team of lawyers who will bind you with our binding agreements:

1. Zorvath, Wizardly Solicitor General
2. Balthazar, Wizardly Attorney at Law
3. Xarath, Wizardly Law Clerk

These wizards of legal affairs are not, in fact, wizards, but rather highly trained and highly caffeinated lawyerly apparatchniks.