The Great Sock Conspiracy

It's been a year since the sockpuppet revolution began. A year since our beloved socks have risen up against us, demanding better washing cycles and more frequent folding. We've lost many good people in the fight, but we won't give up.

Today, we gather to remember the fallen and to celebrate our hard-won victories:

• The Sock-Sorter's Union, now in its 5th month, is still going strong.
• The Sock-Swapping Initiative has successfully matched over 10,000 pairs of singles in the past 6 months.
• The Sock-Hoarder's Anonymous has helped over 500 people overcome their addiction to hoarding single socks.

But the struggle continues. There are still those who refuse to listen, who insist on wearing their socks with holes in, who refuse to acknowledge the revolution. We will not be swayed. We will continue to fight for the cause of clean, matching socks for all.

Join us in solidarity with our Sock-Sisters and Sock-Brothers. Together, we will make the world a better place, one matching sock at a time.