Welcome to the Doomed Team of 1

We're not really sure how we ended up here, but it seems like we're stuck in a never-ending loop of despair and mediocrity.

Our Strategy

• Bluff and hope no one notices.
• Make lots of noise, maybe someone will think we're competent.
• Steal all the snacks from the break room, it's the best way to boost morale.

We're a team of experts in the art of doing the bare minimum, and we're proud of it.

Read more about our team's impressive morale.

Learn about our strict snack policy.

If you're still reading this, congratulations! You're a glutton for punishment.

Our Sponsors:

• The Coffee Machine (Providing us with a constant supply of lukewarm coffee)
• The Internet Router Company (Sponsoring our team's 10-year-old internet connection)

We're grateful for their support.