It has come to our attention that the toaster in the break room has been acting up.
The toaster, a model 4000, has been malfunctioning for weeks, spewing forth a stream of burnt offerings and lukewarm bread.
A team of highly trained engineers has been dispatched to investigate, but their findings are inconclusive.
We are currently experiencing a 30% decrease in productivity due to the Toaster-Induced Trance State (TITS) that has affected several employees.
For more information, please see:
Committee Report, where you can learn more about the Toaster's woeful state
Or, if you'd like to take the Employee Survey, where you can share your own toaster horror stories and vote on a new toaster model
Stay vigilant, and remember: In the event of a toaster emergency, remain calm and follow procedure.