What Are You

Are you a zombie? Or are you just a human with a bad haircut?

Q: How do I tell the difference?

A: Well, if you're a zombie, you'll probably be eating brains and moaning a lot, but also probably not paying your taxes. If you're a human with a bad haircut, you'll just be eating pizza and paying your taxes. So, it's a pretty clear distinction, really.

Brain-eating habits: A guide

Tax avoidance tips for the undead

Or, if you're really unsure, just ask a zombie. They'll be happy to help. Probably.