Prophet's Guide to Unreliable Predictions

Welcome, seekers of questionable wisdom!

Here, you'll find the most unscientific, unproven, and utterly absurd predictions the internet has to offer.

We're talking crystal balls, tarot cards, and astrology charts. Don't ask us how it works; just take what you need.

Predictions

Our most popular prediction is that you will probably eat too much cheese at dinner. Learn More

Or maybe you'll never get out of bed tomorrow. Find Out

About the Prophet

Our prophet has been predicting the unexpected for years. With a 99.99% failure rate, we're not bragging or anything.

Still, our prophet's crystal ball is said to grant 1 in a million accurate predictions. Don't quote us on this; we're still working on the math.