What Did the Boulder Say?

A boulder, feeling particularly chatty, was overheard saying:

"I'm a rock with an attitude problem," it grumbled.
When asked to roll away, it replied, "Not so fast, I'm having a existential crisis."
"I'm just trying to find my purpose in life, you know, like, in the grand scheme of things, or under the grand scheme of things, or, honestly, just under anything."
When pressed for further explanation, it simply shrugged and said, "I'm a boulder, dude."

And with that, it rolled off into the sunset, leaving behind a trail of slightly flattened grass and a few bemused onlookers.