It's a question that has plagued humanity for centuries. A question so profound, so deeply personal, that it's a wonder anyone has managed to focus on anything else.
Is it because I wear plaid with polka dots? No, that's just a fashion choice. Although, I mean, who needs fashion when you're wearing plaid with polka dots?
Is it because I insist on eating Cheetos for every meal? No, that's just a snack preference. Although, I mean, who needs actual food when you have Cheetos?
Or is it because I'm just that guy who walks down the street whistling "The Wheels on the Bus"? Okay, maybe that's it.
Want to know more about my Cheetos-eating habits? Click here for more.
Want to know more about my questionable fashion choices? Click here for more.